Thinking Father…

It is Father’s Day today. And I miss my dad.

Becoming a father was the most incredible, most wonderful and – at times – most scary thing ever. My children impress me and amaze me. They inspire me and fill me with enthusiasm and optimism. On Father’s Day. Every day.

When I think about my dad, I recognize who I am and where I came from. The words Father’s Day conjure up strong and vivid memories. Of him picking me up when I fell down. Of us playing cricket in the summer and soccer in the winter. Of him standing by me when I was playing. Encouraging and advising. Of him reading my chemistry homework and asking me what I thought it meant (I had no idea). Of him asking me what choices I was going to make at school…and enquiring which subjects I enjoyed most. Of him standing next to me when we bought our first car. And of him coming home from work early when I couldn’t make it start the next day. Of him being there for me. Always. Just not now…not anymore.

He came to visit on the day each of our children were born. He was there for our marriage and both of their christenings. He was there with his love. He came to every house we ever rented or bought…the day we moved in. With his love and with his bag of tools.

He was there for me. I am lucky. I am proud. And I remember.

My dad was a scientist. My choices at school were all science. My choices since school have all been science. My own children have made their own choices and they have not chosen science. They could have chosen science – they are both excellent at science. I don’t know if I encouraged them too well (to make their own choices)…or if I just put them off science. Either way they delight and inspire me. Impress and amaze me. My father – their grandfather – loved them so much…as they did him.

I can see my dad – and myself – in them both and in me. It’s like watching a home movie and listening to an audio recording. I know I am so like my father but yet I am also so different. I have had such different experiences at such a different time. My father was a child during and after the war. I wasn’t. I was brought up by my father and my mother. He wasn’t.

Even though my dad and mum both passed away this Spring, I still think about them…and wonder what they would do…or what they would say. I love them both just as much. I miss them both so much. In many ways it’s as if they are still there for me…it’s just that they aren’t.

I used to talk to my dad about family, work and travel, about rugby and about me. I miss his advice. His encouragement. Him listening. I miss him. On Father’s Day. Every day.

But I know he taught me what it means to be a dad. To be important to my children. Today, and tomorrow. Next week and next year….to be there for them. To love them unconditionally. To encourage them when they need encouragement; to offer advice if they need advice. To hold their hand when they need a hand to hold. As they grow. As they experience. As they express themselves. And as they make their own choices in life. I want to be important to them.

I love being a father. I love my father. I miss my dad.

Cheers

Steve

Advertisements

About Steve Street

I have worked in R&D within the Pharmaceutical industry for over 32 years. Up until April 2012 all of my career had been with one company, but that has now changed. I left that company and took up a new role on May 1, 2012 - still very much within the Pharmaceutical industry and again based in the UK. I have been blogging every week now for over 9 years but only on an external site since January 2012. Email updates of the blogs can be requested using the ‘follow’ option within Wordpress. The blogs are only ever my personal view of what I see, think and feel. I am delighted if you agree and find value; happy if you disagree with my views and overjoyed if you feel motivated to comment. Most of all I am simply grateful that you read. Cheers Steve
This entry was posted in Personal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Thinking Father…

  1. Pam Broadhead says:

    And Steve , Dad would’ve loved this post almost as much as I love you x

  2. Judy MacArthur Clark says:

    Steve. My Mum died 14 years ago – but I still think of her every day and still talk to her. That treasured advice or comment comes in the middle of the night – or when I’m mindlessly gardening. Just welcome it!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s