I had to travel to the North of England at short notice last Sunday. One of my sisters called to say that my mother was not well. I cancelled my scheduled US trip and caught a train.
As my wife drove me to the station – she passed me a card. It was a Mother’s Day card. Mother’s Day in the UK is today – Sunday May 26. My wife knew I needed a card to give to my mum today. I still have the card.
My mum passed away on Tuesday. I was with her and my sisters when she left us…holding her hand and their hands. Tuesday was thirty five days after my dad passed. And ten days after his funeral. My mum was there at his funeral…she had looked radiant. Beautiful. Lovely. I love my mum.
She and my dad had been married for over sixty years. Together and inseparable. She knew my dad had gone. Even though she has suffered recently from Alzheimer’s…she knew he was no longer with us…with her. And now, somewhere somehow, they are together again. Together forever.
And here we are planning my mum’s funeral…to celebrate and remember. It just seems so soon. So soon after my dad. But yet I feel comfort in them leaving together. They were meant to be together and now they are.
My mum and my dad loved each other unconditionally and absolutely. They had four children and ten grandchildren. Their family was everything to them and they would do anything for them…for us…for me. My mum and dad had friends, good friends and best friends. Friends were essential to my parents. My parents’ friends knew what it meant to always have someone there for you.
Both of my parents have gone. Together. In a few weeks. I have pictures. I have memories. But I don’t have either of them. I have my mum’s mother’s day card. But I didn’t even have chance to write it. She died in our arms two days after I came to see her. To be with her. To hold her. To tell her that I love her. That her children and grandchildren, our husbands, wives and partners, love her. And to say good bye.
I see my parents in me. I have their values and beliefs. I learned from them. I look like them. I was loved by them. They will be with me forever. I see my parents in my children. My own children are our future. It is their mother’s day today and they have cards to give. I bought a new card to give my wife. She had travelled north to be there with me on Tuesday. I love my wife. I need my wife.
I will never forget the moments my mum passed. She looked at us with her beautiful eyes wide open. She stared at us and listened to us as we spoke. She didn’t say anything…but she told us she loved us and that we would all be all right. She was peaceful and she was at peace.
I feel I have lost so much but I know I am lucky to have had so much. That our whole family were fortunate to have had so much. So much I will always treasure and will never forget.
I will keep the card I had with me last week. I know it is just a regular Mother’s Day card. But it was a card for a special mother. It was a card for the first person I ever loved…a card for the first person who loved me. For my mother…
For my mum…